A PINCH OF JUNK 3

As you all know " A pinch of Junk" is a serial post for all concerned mothers to restrict junk to just a pinch! All together abstinence from junk is neither possible nor recommended, at least in my view. I strictly follow 'no junk for rewards' principle and that's working great. 

What's the latest in this regard is that my daughter and me worked on it and here's the summary of our treaty:

1. Night brushing is compulsory 

2. Brushing soon after eating anything sweet that gets stuck in teeth

3. No junk will be the replacement of any meal

4. Junk will be over and above the routine meals 

5. A list of junk with days tagged to them:

i) Monday - Sweets

ii) Tuesday- Chips

iii) Wednesday - Icecream

iv) Thursday - Burger

v) Friday - Cheesy Pizza

vi) Saturday - Any of the above

vii) Sunday - Any of the above

6. All days junk is not allowed, if it's Monday this week, it's Tuesday next week and so on!

7. Which day is a junk day in a particular week can also be decided by picking chits! There can be some chits that read "NIL" and some that read "TWO". All to make it interesting!

8. Travel allows junk of all kinds!

It's all about making rules and more importantly making a game out of it. It's a child's world after all.

7 WAYS TO ENJOY PARENTING

Parenting could be highly time consuming, patience testing and energy draining process! Here are some simple tips to enjoy parenting.

1.NO PUSHING PLEASE!

Don't push yourself too hard to become the best mom or dad of the world. Parenting demands from parents is high. Only positive energy and patience can help you perform your best in parenting.

2. QUALITY TIME!

Spend Quality time with children and do things that promote connection building. Parenting is about having a beautiful relation with your child while you nurture them.

3. CHOOSE YOUR COMPANY!

Drop those who keep cribbing over how miserable life is with kids, or after marriage. Try and find the company of people who appreciate the wonder of having a child.

4. GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME!

Groom yourself well! Shed those extra pounds. Join your job. Go for holidays. Let love and sex return to you. It's still your life, that's going on!

5. STAY HONEST!

If you don't have time, money or kind do let them know. Always say bye to the child before going even though he might be crying at that time. Lying will only encourage him to lie to you in future and that will increase your trouble.

6. OPTIMISTIC & PROBLEM SOLVING MODE!

There's no problem you can't deal with and no solution that will stay hidden if you sincerely find it. 

7. PARENTING CLASS!

They are going to make it all easier. Your very perspective with which you view your child and everything he does will change for better. 

SIXTEEN STEPS TO FIND A MATCH FOR YOUR SON

Apparently, India is a country where parents have more dreams about their daughter in law than son would have for his wife. What so ever the case might be the truth is that marriage of your son is the last responsibility for the parents. For the son it's the beginning of a responsible life. Even though parents are the affected ones and their sons wedding is a part of their story, the bare truth is that it is the beginning of his (son's ) story. Here are some steps I consider appropriate for parents of all those who have not found out for themselves their lady love.

Step 1. Ask your son if he wants to get married and why.

Step 2. Let him know what is marriage all about!

Step 3. Let him know what he will have to give in it and what all can he expect.

Step 4. Let him know that he will have to continuously work on it.

Step 5. Ask him to describe the kind of wife he would like to spend his whole 

life with. The description should be as elaborate as possible.

Step 6. Ask him to write the characteristics point wise and in order of priority.

Step 7. Ask him what are the absolute NO NO for him!

Step 8. Ask him to write the negatives in a girl that he'll be okay with.

Step 9. After all this mechanical homework tell him that it's very much possible to have immense love in an arranged marriage. Love is quite a possibility.

Step 10. Ask your son to make a profile shortlisting basis.....the basis on which you will keep or reject profiles without meeting/ talking.

Step 11. Exchange of profiles.... Give yours and fetch a number of profiles from various marriage bureaus, newspapers or shaadi.com etc.

Step 11. Short list the profiles using your profile shortlisting basis.

Step 12. Ask your son to make a Talk shortlisting basis......the basis on which you will keep or reject profiles after talking.

Step 13. Short list the profiles after talking.

Step 14. Do your homework befor you meet the girl party.

Step 15. Meet 

Step 16. Decide

All these steps need further description which will come in time to come! 

TEEN TWISTS: FEARS OF THE TEENAGER'S PARENTS

All of us are aware how difficult teenage can be with number of things to be balanced - career building, personality development, ideology setting, out burst of hormones and a young soul over confident, impulsive and secretive who resists all kinds of interference. We as parents often get overwhelmed with the situation....some of us act like CID, others feel tempted to give their suggestions, some of us argue with them and set some rules which they must follow! 

The peer pressure is high and the young revolutionary doesn't seem to be controlled. News papers are filled with mishappenings with other teenagers. Here we are all worried that everything goes well and there this carefree teenager is totally carefree and all set to fly high, dive deep and take risk! 

In a bid to protect them from harm we risk something very precious and take away from them something that really could help them from drowning, falling and getting hurt! 

These are the important questions for my readers that I wish to ask:

Q.1. What is that something very precious that we risk in a bid to protect our teenagers?

Q.2. What is it that we take away from them that could help them? 

Answers shall follow very soon as

“TEEN TWISTS BEING UNTWISTED”

ORGANIC FERTILIZERS FOR LOVE TO FLOURISH

I will list these for the ease of these:-
1. Both partners should be willing to work on their relationship.
2. Working on a relationship doesn't mean that it's bad, it only means that it's important for both of you and you are eager to flourish it.
3. It's important to know oneself and what we expect from our partner.
4. It's wise to remember that our partner is another individual and may not do what we expect of him/her, and that doesn't mean that he/ she doesn't love us.
5. Giving space to each other helps to go a long way.
6. It's important to know what the other expects of us.
7. It's not necessary to fulfil all demands and expectations of our loved one.
8. Know what leads to CHAOS in a relationship:
Choice of words improper + Handling impatient + Aggressive tone of voice + Other is to blame + Short temper = CHAOS!
9. Know what CHAOS can lead to in a relationship:
CHAOS = Connection hampered + Hurt feelings + Aloofness  + Out of control situation + Sad story!
10. We can and must train ourselves to use respectable words.
11. Situations usually demand patience!
12. Tone of voice must be under continuous monitoring.
13. Pointing at each other is not going to solve any issue.
14. Angry birds destroy their own nests..... Temper can be immensely detrimental to a relationship.
15. Connection building should be given importance.
16. Feelings must not be held back.
17. Shelling ourselves aloof will only distance us from each other.
18. Reassure yourself that all situations can be controlled if we wish to put efforts in right direction.
19. Sad story can be converted to a happy one anytime because it's not only your story but also because you are the author of your story.
20. Remember that a bad conversation is million times better than no communication!
God bless you with beautiful relationships and loving families!

LOVE BETWEEN PARENTS IS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN

I just read somewhere that the best thing a father can do to her daughter is to love her mom! Smart justification of our desires!
Well dads out there, if your daughter sees you loving her mom then she knows that love exists and that true love is not only in stories but also in real life....and that's how she automatically gets ready to create a happy home for herself once she grows.
The logic is simple but big!
We all know that children with problem families are more likely to make and have a problematic relationship. So we try not to be a problem family. Convincing enough!
It's really nice that we all know what NOT to do!
It's high time we focus on what we need to do.....! We need to have a happy family so that she has a happy home! Here are some points to be noted...
1. One of the wonderful things that we as parents can offer our children is an example of true love between the two of us.
2. True love does happen, it's difficult to make it happen!
3. We need to work on our love and relationship to keep it going, lustrous, shining and growing?
4. Working on it doesn't mean that we need to pose ourselves or do things just for the sake of it.
5. We can be ourselves, in fact we need to be ourselves to have a successful relationship.
6. Love needs organic fertilisers to flourish!
" Organic fertilisers for love to flourish" is going to be my next blog ....it's coming soon .....almost back to back.

SIBLING LOVE: PARENTS HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY

Hi friends, I've been busy with kids all this while and there is loads that I learnt in the process. I am desperately waiting to put every small lesson out here for you guys! 

Love and understanding between any two individuals is more a business of the two; how could a third person ever increase love and understanding between two people. The mechanics of a relationship is more or less the same, no matter how old or young the age is. However there are certain parental behaviours that favour sibling love and others that don't.

There's probably a lot that parents can do to promote sibling love!

It's a good idea to inculcate " the desire to have a sibling" in the first child before even planning the next child! 

Connection building can begin as soon as we conceive our second child!

Selecting words and behaviours that promote sibling love, especially while scolding the elder one!

Get physical in your expression of love....touch is magical!

 We'll do each of these steps and many more in details and one by one to get a practical picture as to HOW it needs to be reached and accomplished! 

Wait my dear friends for my next blog!