I LITERALLY NEEDED TO HOLD MY HEART

Its no joke, no made up story friends. It's something that I saw and I literally needed to hold my heart!  The other day I took my daughter to her friend Debu's house. A very well educated family of professors it was. Their's was a joint family and Debu's grand parents were retired surgeons. Debu is someone whose company my daughter loves. She would love to hang around with her just all the time.
As I entered their house everyone was so welcoming and I really felt at home. Debu was showing her toys to Naisha and both of them were enjoying. Debu's grand mother was sitting with a slate and chalk and trying to teach her recognising alphabets before we came. I was so happy to see the grandmother teach ABC to Debu. Usually grandmothers are seen telling stories! She seemed to be a very involved kind of a grandmother.
Debu's grandma, like all elders (parents and grandparents included) was narrating all beautiful stories of what Debu does and how intelligent she is and what all she knows. That stuff is my all time favourite and I love to listen that about any and every child. A lot of learning happens in the process. Someone would tell you of interesting ways of preparing nutritious stuff for kids, someone would share what they did in their childhood. I simply love this talk. I guess it is this way that we as parents or grandparents are able to re-live our own childhood!
Although I see so many parents just rushing through their daily schedule, hardly having time to let their children live their own childhood; let alone the idea of re-living their childhood through their children. Well, that I will address it some other time.
I was so rejoiced to see grandparents do that. She had a beautiful blush of pride all over her face as she asked Debu about things kept in the room and Debu answered them all correctly. Among those thing was "injection". I don't know how, but a simple "Why?" flashed on my face. I was just thinking that it was such a dangerous thing to be kept open in the room. Debu's grandma read the "Why?' through my face and she said "I have kept this to scare Debu"
"Scare Debu??"
She continued "when she doesn't eat or does some mischief we scare her" saying this she showed me how she did that...
aa ah ah ah.....
My heart was falling.
I literally needed to hold my heart!
The outcome of this fear inculcation is so adverse. God knows how a surgeon could behave that way! How adverse it could be I will discuss in my next post.
Put in your comments and doubts on which I could elaborate and clarify.
(names changed)

A TWINKLE THAT SPREAD THROUGH MY SMALL LITTLE WORLD

I am so much so reminded of a beautiful incidence; where in the windows of my laptop got corrupted. This laptop of mine is the first gift I gave to myself that I bought with the first pay of my life. When the windows got corrupted I became so sad. My hubby said that I must look for the driver’s CD that I would have got along with the laptop. I looked for it in my laptop bag but couldn’t find it. I was full of despair. It suddenly struck me that I must look for it in the CD box where all CDs were put. I began my search and found one yellow CD which was slightly smaller in size and had “drivers” written on it. I was like so so happy as if I had found oasis ad midst the Sahara desert.
I kept jumping in the joy while my daughter and hubby twinkled as they watched me. I can’t tell you how relieved I felt. I thanked Krishna and felt sorry for not trusting him. As I conveyed my apologies to Krishna, my hubby interrupted me and said that the driver’s CD was not of my laptop. “Oops!” I said “For the feels God just gave me I am sure I don’t need to worry”. I let go of all the analytical “petite set of possibilities” in the village we live in, I was sure that I needed not to worry. I was so happy for the intense good feels that God deliberately put to make me positive, with that other laptop’s CD. I sensed a direction, supernatural direction!
 Now I was full of faith. In evening we went out for a search with a weak analytic possibility and a strong supernatural possibility of everything to fall in place. We were able to find a good shop in the village of Chitrakoot where my windows were all set with a higher version of windows (window 7). Earlier I had window Vista. We even landed up buying a mobile phone for my dear hubby, which was due since a long time. Supernatural self direction!!     Supernatural self direction and the twinkles that spread through my small little world!   

"Iwould love to hear your comments guys, just type in!!"

GIFTING HER THE ARMOUR OF “BEHAVE YOURSELF !!”

In the dance classes last week a new lady, Priya happened to join our group. I rejoiced noticing her sweet little daughter, Navya of the age group of my daughter, Naisha. I was glad thinking that my daughter will have some company.

What we think is not always true. Navya had a very bad habit of hitting other children and becoming happy seeing them cry. Once she came up to Naisha right in front of my eyes and hit Naisha’s face with a toy. I got so annoyed. I just couldn’t stop myself give that expression of annoyance. I immediately shifted my attention to Naisha who needed to be consoled. Priya also came for rescue and started explaining Navya that what she did was wrong.

Naisha didn’t like Navya. For Navya all this was just a game. She was not deliberately hurting Naisha. I could not let Naisha live thinking that she is not strong enough or that someone else is capable of pushing her and laughing as she began to cry. Priya was just not able to handle Navya and her violent behaviour. Navya was a hefty, tall girl. It was so difficult for Naisha to stop Navya snatch away her toys from her. I was brooding over the set of possibilities. I sat with Naisha and asked her “How do you find Navya”

“She’s not nice, I don’t like her”

“Why?”

 “She beats me, pushes me and snatches my toys from me”

“So, what will you do now?”

She makes a helpless face and that kills me. I controlled my emotions and said “Every problem has a solution baby, Navya is simply just not as intelligent as you are. She doesn’t know what she should not be doing. ”

She looks at me with so much attention and focus, I just hope that this works.

I continued “Should you beat her back”

Thankfully, she said “No”

“But you must let her know that not beating her is a choice that you make and that what she did was simply wrong and that you would not take it.”

“How shall I say that mom?”

Just say “Behave Yourself”

You might have had the hardest blow, but I am sure you will be able to get up use the “Behave Yourself” and tell her mom what she did. Then we practiced this playing "as if" games atleast five times. She really enjoyed the game more so as she realised more power within her replacing the helpless feels.  

Next day when we met for the dance class and the children met, Naisha handled everything better.

After the class she told me that she used “Behave Yourself” and that made Navya go back to her mom. She also said that it made her feel good. That’s what made me feel so much better!!



MY FIRST EVER COMMUNICATION WITH MY DAUGHTER

Souls decide for themselves their own fortune and fates, their own playmates and their own talents and their own parents!!Sometimes, it happens this ways that before you plan their childhood on earth, they plan your parenthood from heaven! The 19th of March 2010, evening I got to know of her presence. Physical impossibilities clouded my perception of her till I made a spiritual shift and learnt the truth for myself. It took me one day to realise her and I am so sorry for the delay. The world of possibilities was all open to me and strength covered me from all sides. I thank Radha for facilitating this shift. Next evening I made my first ever communication with my daughter! I wrapped my hands around my tummy and said “Oops! So you are here, WELCOME baby into my arms. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. Mamma loves you baby. When you were there above, since then you have been a priority. Just the way my mom dad took care of me, the whole of me; I will take care of you. I will try my best to provide you with the most conducive environment possible. I am going to stay with you but away from your dad till your birth and till you are 6 months old. Dad will come to meet us whenever possible. I am still not done with my studies, I stay away from your dad so things could be tough but we are there for each other. I will do all the planning and you guide me through, all right my awakened soul, my room partner! I will buy a story book for you and we can enjoy the story session once a while. There are some sets of fighting that we need to do, which we will definitely win because we are a set of two souls! I can’t tell you how strong I feel just because of your presence. Now take some rest while I plan these eighteen months in a manner that we face no problem.”

MALLEABLE CHILD HAS HER OWN PROPERTIES

Child is all malleable, all yours till she starts to question. But like all metals she is expected to have her own properties, her own boiling point, her own melting point and her own freezing point. Trying to shape a child according to our whims and wishes doesn't necessarily lead to favourable outcomes. The whole nurturing happens in connecting with the child and communicating with her. The communication I am talking of begins too early, that's the non verbal communication, the higher form of communication than the verbal one! This beautiful form of communication goes deep and brings tremendous connecting power and I will certainly address it soon!