GIFTING HER THE ARMOUR OF “BEHAVE YOURSELF !!”

In the dance classes last week a new lady, Priya happened to join our group. I rejoiced noticing her sweet little daughter, Navya of the age group of my daughter, Naisha. I was glad thinking that my daughter will have some company.

What we think is not always true. Navya had a very bad habit of hitting other children and becoming happy seeing them cry. Once she came up to Naisha right in front of my eyes and hit Naisha’s face with a toy. I got so annoyed. I just couldn’t stop myself give that expression of annoyance. I immediately shifted my attention to Naisha who needed to be consoled. Priya also came for rescue and started explaining Navya that what she did was wrong.

Naisha didn’t like Navya. For Navya all this was just a game. She was not deliberately hurting Naisha. I could not let Naisha live thinking that she is not strong enough or that someone else is capable of pushing her and laughing as she began to cry. Priya was just not able to handle Navya and her violent behaviour. Navya was a hefty, tall girl. It was so difficult for Naisha to stop Navya snatch away her toys from her. I was brooding over the set of possibilities. I sat with Naisha and asked her “How do you find Navya”

“She’s not nice, I don’t like her”

“Why?”

 “She beats me, pushes me and snatches my toys from me”

“So, what will you do now?”

She makes a helpless face and that kills me. I controlled my emotions and said “Every problem has a solution baby, Navya is simply just not as intelligent as you are. She doesn’t know what she should not be doing. ”

She looks at me with so much attention and focus, I just hope that this works.

I continued “Should you beat her back”

Thankfully, she said “No”

“But you must let her know that not beating her is a choice that you make and that what she did was simply wrong and that you would not take it.”

“How shall I say that mom?”

Just say “Behave Yourself”

You might have had the hardest blow, but I am sure you will be able to get up use the “Behave Yourself” and tell her mom what she did. Then we practiced this playing "as if" games atleast five times. She really enjoyed the game more so as she realised more power within her replacing the helpless feels.  

Next day when we met for the dance class and the children met, Naisha handled everything better.

After the class she told me that she used “Behave Yourself” and that made Navya go back to her mom. She also said that it made her feel good. That’s what made me feel so much better!!