SIXTEEN STEPS TO FIND A MATCH FOR YOUR SON

Apparently, India is a country where parents have more dreams about their daughter in law than son would have for his wife. What so ever the case might be the truth is that marriage of your son is the last responsibility for the parents. For the son it's the beginning of a responsible life. Even though parents are the affected ones and their sons wedding is a part of their story, the bare truth is that it is the beginning of his (son's ) story. Here are some steps I consider appropriate for parents of all those who have not found out for themselves their lady love.

Step 1. Ask your son if he wants to get married and why.

Step 2. Let him know what is marriage all about!

Step 3. Let him know what he will have to give in it and what all can he expect.

Step 4. Let him know that he will have to continuously work on it.

Step 5. Ask him to describe the kind of wife he would like to spend his whole 

life with. The description should be as elaborate as possible.

Step 6. Ask him to write the characteristics point wise and in order of priority.

Step 7. Ask him what are the absolute NO NO for him!

Step 8. Ask him to write the negatives in a girl that he'll be okay with.

Step 9. After all this mechanical homework tell him that it's very much possible to have immense love in an arranged marriage. Love is quite a possibility.

Step 10. Ask your son to make a profile shortlisting basis.....the basis on which you will keep or reject profiles without meeting/ talking.

Step 11. Exchange of profiles.... Give yours and fetch a number of profiles from various marriage bureaus, newspapers or shaadi.com etc.

Step 11. Short list the profiles using your profile shortlisting basis.

Step 12. Ask your son to make a Talk shortlisting basis......the basis on which you will keep or reject profiles after talking.

Step 13. Short list the profiles after talking.

Step 14. Do your homework befor you meet the girl party.

Step 15. Meet 

Step 16. Decide

All these steps need further description which will come in time to come! 

TEEN TWISTS: FEARS OF THE TEENAGER'S PARENTS

All of us are aware how difficult teenage can be with number of things to be balanced - career building, personality development, ideology setting, out burst of hormones and a young soul over confident, impulsive and secretive who resists all kinds of interference. We as parents often get overwhelmed with the situation....some of us act like CID, others feel tempted to give their suggestions, some of us argue with them and set some rules which they must follow! 

The peer pressure is high and the young revolutionary doesn't seem to be controlled. News papers are filled with mishappenings with other teenagers. Here we are all worried that everything goes well and there this carefree teenager is totally carefree and all set to fly high, dive deep and take risk! 

In a bid to protect them from harm we risk something very precious and take away from them something that really could help them from drowning, falling and getting hurt! 

These are the important questions for my readers that I wish to ask:

Q.1. What is that something very precious that we risk in a bid to protect our teenagers?

Q.2. What is it that we take away from them that could help them? 

Answers shall follow very soon as

“TEEN TWISTS BEING UNTWISTED”

ORGANIC FERTILIZERS FOR LOVE TO FLOURISH

I will list these for the ease of these:-
1. Both partners should be willing to work on their relationship.
2. Working on a relationship doesn't mean that it's bad, it only means that it's important for both of you and you are eager to flourish it.
3. It's important to know oneself and what we expect from our partner.
4. It's wise to remember that our partner is another individual and may not do what we expect of him/her, and that doesn't mean that he/ she doesn't love us.
5. Giving space to each other helps to go a long way.
6. It's important to know what the other expects of us.
7. It's not necessary to fulfil all demands and expectations of our loved one.
8. Know what leads to CHAOS in a relationship:
Choice of words improper + Handling impatient + Aggressive tone of voice + Other is to blame + Short temper = CHAOS!
9. Know what CHAOS can lead to in a relationship:
CHAOS = Connection hampered + Hurt feelings + Aloofness  + Out of control situation + Sad story!
10. We can and must train ourselves to use respectable words.
11. Situations usually demand patience!
12. Tone of voice must be under continuous monitoring.
13. Pointing at each other is not going to solve any issue.
14. Angry birds destroy their own nests..... Temper can be immensely detrimental to a relationship.
15. Connection building should be given importance.
16. Feelings must not be held back.
17. Shelling ourselves aloof will only distance us from each other.
18. Reassure yourself that all situations can be controlled if we wish to put efforts in right direction.
19. Sad story can be converted to a happy one anytime because it's not only your story but also because you are the author of your story.
20. Remember that a bad conversation is million times better than no communication!
God bless you with beautiful relationships and loving families!

LOVE BETWEEN PARENTS IS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN

I just read somewhere that the best thing a father can do to her daughter is to love her mom! Smart justification of our desires!
Well dads out there, if your daughter sees you loving her mom then she knows that love exists and that true love is not only in stories but also in real life....and that's how she automatically gets ready to create a happy home for herself once she grows.
The logic is simple but big!
We all know that children with problem families are more likely to make and have a problematic relationship. So we try not to be a problem family. Convincing enough!
It's really nice that we all know what NOT to do!
It's high time we focus on what we need to do.....! We need to have a happy family so that she has a happy home! Here are some points to be noted...
1. One of the wonderful things that we as parents can offer our children is an example of true love between the two of us.
2. True love does happen, it's difficult to make it happen!
3. We need to work on our love and relationship to keep it going, lustrous, shining and growing?
4. Working on it doesn't mean that we need to pose ourselves or do things just for the sake of it.
5. We can be ourselves, in fact we need to be ourselves to have a successful relationship.
6. Love needs organic fertilisers to flourish!
" Organic fertilisers for love to flourish" is going to be my next blog ....it's coming soon .....almost back to back.

SIBLING LOVE: PARENTS HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY

Hi friends, I've been busy with kids all this while and there is loads that I learnt in the process. I am desperately waiting to put every small lesson out here for you guys! 

Love and understanding between any two individuals is more a business of the two; how could a third person ever increase love and understanding between two people. The mechanics of a relationship is more or less the same, no matter how old or young the age is. However there are certain parental behaviours that favour sibling love and others that don't.

There's probably a lot that parents can do to promote sibling love!

It's a good idea to inculcate " the desire to have a sibling" in the first child before even planning the next child! 

Connection building can begin as soon as we conceive our second child!

Selecting words and behaviours that promote sibling love, especially while scolding the elder one!

Get physical in your expression of love....touch is magical!

 We'll do each of these steps and many more in details and one by one to get a practical picture as to HOW it needs to be reached and accomplished! 

Wait my dear friends for my next blog!

Success of "Skills over wills"

The four day bolus course was amazing for the kids as well as for me! 

Gratitude seemed to seep into the kids. 

Whenever virat gets cranky over a small hurt or being hungry or anything all his mother needs to do is remind him "Is he Khusi Ram(happy fellow) or Dukhi Ram(sad fellow)?" He knows how Khushi Ram reacts in every situation. Infact the Khushi Ram Dukhi Ram Roleplay has so deeply soaked into the kids that they really know its effective application. 

I remember we were going out for an outing and for some reasons we got little late. My hubby got really bugged up waiting and seeing his plans not taking shape.... He was really irritated, continuously throwing words that elaborated his annoyance. Naisha very sneakily made a statement "Thank you God for not making us very late" 

The whole scenario changed! Mohit hugged her and we enjoyed the time that was left! It is so wonderful to note how perspective can be changed and really worse conditions can be enjoyed! How a small child can do that deliberately and not just by chance! If one can make a statement that can turn the sorrow and complains into joy and gratitude...how powerful that statement would be and how powerful would that person be! 

Attitude is made by practice! It is a learned behaviour. Attitude of Gratitude bolus was very strong! 

MILKY WAY......Drinking milk made easy!

Milky Way is the whole galaxy that conspires with you in your efforts to make your child drink milk!

Hey moms all we are going to do is practicing to put facts to practical use. So first I mention a fact and then the how about...fine!
1. Children do what their parents do!
Do you drink milk with your kids? Sip by sip, enjoying, competing (who finishes first) talking about milk, it's benefits, it's origin and where from!
2. Children do what they enjoy, they seek fun in life !
A four year can make shakes in the mixer. A beautiful milk book, milk table, milk accessories (tumblers, straw, coffee, bournvita, horlicks, crushed almonds, muesli, corn flakes, chocos, wheat flakes, fresh fruits, lovely saucer bowls and colouring his favourite cartoon drinking milk ). Get innovative ladies it's time we made Milky Way the most interesting one.
3. Children love changes!
Have a new Milky Way each time, a new way at least 7 of them, each can be repeated twice and then changed....club each way with days of a weak! Wow, and then repeat it over! It's not a headache.... It's fun. It's challenge!
4. Children love to choose and behave like elders!
Be smart... Give customised choices!
Diya: I am hungry
Mom: ya honey please let me know: cold milk, hot milk or room temperature milk?
Okay with all; then pick up one chit out of these three! Or club them with days of the week or odd/even number of dates...or.... It's always the princess who decides!!!
She decides which kind of milk( there's no option of having no milk)
5. Children don't like to be forced into anything!
Avoid: sentences that are forceful. Like: " you have to drink milk anyways"
(Child feels like a slave, let alone a princess)
Drinking milk is a rule of the house! She has to drink milk anyways; I'm just asking you not to be vocal about it!
It's not yet over! Wait for  "Milky Way 2"!!