PEER PRESSURE PROBLEMS

Are you one of the parents struggling with peer pressure related problems. He's comparing every bit of his life with his friends. His friends, those you consider not that worthy.
You are ready to do anything to put him off that circle.
It's a stage that each one parent will have to come across.
There are skills which as parents we never focussed on....those that are powerful enough to prevent mishaps that we as parents fear the most.

1. Decision making
2. Priority setting
3. Time management
4. Controlling desires

Just think over it if our kids knew that friends are not forcefully hit on them like other relations and that we have a chance to make a choice whom to make a friend whom not to.....wouldn't they think before making friends.
If they knew the priorities, wouldn't they plan differently.
If they learnt to manage their time, wouldn't they balance friendships and knowledge assimilation.
If they knew how to control their desires wouldn't they choose more wisely and stop flowing in emotions. If they are not skilled to deal with their emotions how will they deal with their hormones...?

Problem is not the friends. Problem is the inefficiency of coping with the world. Problem is that parents thought that parenting skills were inborn and didn't need to be learnt.

NO MORE SCARY STROKES 1

Creativity is the charm of childhood. It's not about the skill or art structuring that attracts me; it's about the connection it can bring about between the parent and the child. 

Messy spaces, wastage of paints, spilling of water, soiled clothes and a havoc at home makes it all so SCARY for the parents! Kids also don't learn as much at home as they do with a professional teacher. Parents are not skilled enough in art
Everything seems to argue in the favour of sending the child to a professional instead.
Here I'm not talking of the skill. I'm just talking of the connection it's capable of bringing about!
Strokes need not be that scary anymore! NO MORE SCARY STROKES is s serial post to give you tips on some whole some activities which are less messy and more manageable!
There's nothing that I prefer over the other! But today I'm talking of this WATER COLOUR CAKE that is too easy for small children!

These water colours are easy to use and cause little wastage!

I just love hand prints!

Using different colours on one palm works too beautiful!

Making stalks with finger pulp creates a personalised floral appearance! 

Took no more than half an hour for three kids aged 3, 4 and 7!

By product of connection is the most wanted outcome!

POSITIVITY RECIPES 1

In an age where remaining positive is so tough for ourselves to follow, how do we instill positivity in our own kids? POSITIVITY RECIPES is a serial post to inspire and enlighten ways to a positive attitude!

Yesterday was another roughed up tired evening and as I sat lousily on my couch, my daughter, NITYA came and sat besides, with her all time sweet nothings! In the middle of everything she mentioned that she got FOUR wrongs in the dictation test that morning! 

“How many rights dear?”

She sprung out and rushed for her notebook and counted the wrongs and said... 

“ One, two , three and four.... FOUR wrongs!”

I insisted again 

“ Count the ticked ones”

She started “ one two three.... thirteen rights, BUT mom FOUR wrongs! “

“ AND THIRTEEN RIGHTS” I said with reinforcing the RIGHTS!

She got puzzled...

“Ya, Last year I got only two wrongs so four wrongs are really a lot” trying to prove that her focus was on the right thing... WRONG! 

Focus on the wrongs was the right thing for her!

“In any case NINE more rights than the wrongs!”

“So...” she said

I answered “So I mean you ‘THE NITYA’ are more capable than incapable! 

And you want to say that ‘THE NITYA’ is incapable! “

Her look was all empty but receptive! 

Then I asked her orally the spellings of the words that were right in her test. She said she knew them and more importantly we must learn the wrong ones. 

“ I’m happy for the wrong ones because they are the ones you’ll remember for ever” 

An oral dictation test again amidst the talk and all of them were right! 

“Seventeen rights!” 

Hidden but obvious cues was a signal to focus on what she had not on what she didn’t; on what she achieved not what she didn’t! 

I’m waiting for another dictation test wish she comes up with her rights! 

Number and percentages don’t matter because in her life her ATTITUDE will be the single most important factor influencing her happiness, success and zeal in life! 

That’s exactly what I aim to assist her with...an AMAZING ATTITUDE of looking at the POSITIVES in life!

2018 NEW YEAR PARENTING TIP

The OLIVE GREEN tip for the parents this new year!

The most important part of life is CHANGE. No one can do away with it, since it keeps happening at its own pace and in its own way! Change is inevitable!
Experiences make us bitter, changes our outlook towards the world more negative than positive. We calculate all situations in a default mode and draw struggling inferences! This is how we are changing!
There is a way to monitor and control the wonderful process of change leading to better outcomes......an optimistic we, stronger we, balanced we and smoothening relationships, effective we!!!
It’s all a world of huge possibilities and we could metamorphose what we dislike and want to change to what we would love to be like!!!
OLIVE GREEN would surely post this wonderful magical way very soon! 

USING A SCHOOL COMPETITION TO BUILD CONNECTION WITH YOUR CHILD

As a matter of fact any project or competition in school that needs parental involvement carries with it immense possibilities of connection building. So much so that connection building is all I aim for, winning a prize takes the back seat over the list of priorities! 

The earlier we plan the better it is, since we have lots of time and can do away with panicking! However there also is a lot of learning doing things at the end moment. Especially it trains us ( both parents and children) for sprint! Cool mind, quick ideas, limited resources( since there’s no time to buy extra), a smart plan and quick action! It really gives me a kick! But truthfully, the results are devastating as connection building is lost over the counter, there’s no fun time while practicing and preparing, the child most likely forgets, the chances of winning are highly bleak! It’s way more lovely to plan and start early! You might not get the kick but 

Just giving you an example, upcoming is a speech competition in my daughter’s school on the topic “One day in life as a mobile”!

As we sat casually I just asked her how it would be if she were a flower for one day. “No, I wouldn’t like being a flower. Anyone can pluck me off” 

“Would there be something nice about being a flower?”

Quickly enough 

“ ya! I would stay fresh all time, not needing bath nor going to school; that would be nice But still I don’t want to be so susceptible to be plucked....so overall a No, from my side”

Rejecting my proposal to be a flower!! 

She insisted on my turn this time to think over and she asked me how it would be like to be a sun for a day! 

I put across my scattered views! 

The best part was that we were infusing the imagination with our feelings. It was such a fun. 

Instead to writing a short speech and making her mug it up, I started it this ways! It was a wonderful start and I’m also waiting to watch what follows!  

Nothing is as important in parenting as is building a strong parent-child connection! As I promote more talkings, more conversations, more sharing, more feelings I pray you enjoy the journey all way long..!!

Dr Garima Shivhare

Olive Green Parenting Clinic

DON’T DISMISS THE FEELINGS OF YOUR CHILD

It puts me in a state of self check as I share with you my latest realisation! 

I realised how many times I simply refused to agree to what my daughter said she felt! She said she was sleepy and I reminded her with authority that she was not really sleepy, just a little tired! 

She said she was hungry and I refuted saying that she just had sandwich! 

She said she didn’t want to attend dance classes and I started reminding her everything she ever said and did to prove that she really liked dancing!

.....And the list can go so long! 

Realisation was there and it demanded some substantial action! I appointed a part of my mind to keep a check on my responses! I am improving but it’s taking time! I’m curbing my desire to correct, advice and judge! 

I realise all over again how this behaviour of mine can induce self doubt in her personality! I want her to stand for herself but my words are working towards making her realise that she is not capable of judging her feelings and can’t conclude her own state of mind!!! 

Listening needs so much more practice and I’m practically working towards improving the same! 

God bless you all with fabulous loving families, cherished memories and a bond that’s everlasting! 

Dr Garima Shivhare

Olive Green Parenting Clinic

WOMANHOOD: WISDOM & COURAGE

This comes with a realised fact that parenting is way more about a woman than a man!! 

A woman is simply beautiful. The way she's been made is really amazing. Not what is visible but that what is subtle that amazes me all the more. Two kinds of woman really impress me: one is the courageous Rani Laxmi bai of Jhansi and another is the sharp minded Mareena of Alibaba and 40 thieves! 

More than being a woman, being a human impresses me all the more. Chanakya, Birbal and millions of stories of Panchtantra and various freedom fighters touch my core. I aspire to have a part of these immensely wise and courageous personalities in me. 

But that doesn't stop me to look at the mirror...mirror that really reflected me, the whole of me!

In life it doesn't matter what cards you got; what really matters as what you made if it and how you played with it! 

A part of wisdom that is important is to foresee the possible outcomes and act in ways to promote the favourable ones and to avoid the unfavourable ones. 

Nothing beats wisdom!! 

There ought to be a mirror that reflects wisdom within us, and we also need make up to accentuate the same! 

Courage is instinctual as well as environmental!!! In my case it's completely a learned asset! I've been a coward all my childhood. 

Many a times I used to hide my meekness behind my goodness, my incapabilities to answer back behind my patience and tolerance. One day I decided to go bare and realise for good how weak I am emotionally. I  needed that specific psycho-critical mirror that moment. 

Realisation is the first step towards overcoming, fighting our own instincts, winning over them and a complete mental shift leading to surprising metamorphosis! 

The new me was amazingly lovely, admirable and worthy of so much self boost! Courage is an asset! It is that kind of jewel that shines through personality. 

There's lot more adorable aspects about being a woman, but courage and wisdom certainly sets you apart from the crowd! I wish I could have a mirror that reflected these aspects of ours!