PAPAS DON'T COOK, MAMMAS COOK!

This is a  sequel of "Equality breeds equality". I am extremely sorry as the tomorrow I mentioned in that post came too late.
Eating on the dining table, I realised that the food was not going to be enough for three of us. Mohit and I were just going through the set of options we had, to fill our half filled tummies. We finally decided on making one maggi (Noodles)!
After some "you cook" "you cook" tussle between us Mohit volunteered for the task. As he raised himself off the chair, obvious giggle drew our attention to the little girl.
She said
         "Papas don't cook, mammas cook!"
Both of us were stunned, astonished and mum at her innocent comment. He dropped himself back into the chair to listen more of her concepts. 

The comment was only a start and she had an essay to follow. 

"Mammas go to job papas go to the hospital"

"Mammas cook food and give clothes to the washerman"

"Mammas play with babies and give them a bath"

"Mammas pack my lunch box and papas ready the babies to school"

"Papas give babies ice cream on sundays"
"Mammas give gems on fridays"
"Papas get vegetables from the market"

Mohit interrupted her and asked if Papa ever gave her a bath
"yes"
Mamma ever made her ready
"yes"
Papa ever packed her lunch box
"No"
Papa ever gave her gems
"yes"
Mamma ever gave her ice cream
"yes"
Papa ever gave clothes to the washer man
"No"
Mamma ever got veggies from the market
"yes"

"Well, sweetheart I have packed the lunchbox for you and have also given clothes to the washerman and now I am going to cook maggi for three of us!"

She was listening to him very attentively. Her gaze followed him till he disappeared in the kitchen.

He reappeared saying "So here is the soupy maggi for beautiful ladies and me."

He put more words for thought to our little daughter "I cook well baby, all the works at home are interchangeable, Papa and Mamma work together"
"We both are a team"
  She listened rather deeply.
Silence prevailed while we were done with our supper.

Breaking the silence she questioned "And me...?????"
 We did not understand until she clarified...
"I am not team?????"
Then...
Then what! She got a hug from Mohit which I joined in.
A Prolonged Family Hug (PFH) happened!
Mohit added meaning to it by saying "We three are a team."

She repeated happily in her own version "I am also team and Mamma and Papa also are team!!"

She did not know the meaning of "Team". She was just happy being what her Mom Dad were...
Team!!!

MY BOY IS STUBBORN

This is about Mrs Nair. She came to me with a rather common problem. Her problem was "My boy is stubborn!"
 "He doesn't ever listen to me. He always has to have things his way."
 "His demands are unreasonable."
 "His tantrum has reached heights."
 "His yells and screams are bullets, and I don't even have a bulletproof jacket"
 "I would rather call him a terrorist!"

Even though she was a millionaire, she was all rags and devastated by the terrorist! I could see all expressions of irritation, helplessness and those held back tears.

I remained silent to give her space to expand express and feel more.

Then I saw what I had been waiting for....A ray of hope!
Hope twinkled through her eyes as she repeated "My boy is stubborn; what do I do doctor"

After a pause, she continued with all that she was expecting out of me.
"Is there a way to make him a decent obedient boy, I can be proud of."
"I want him to talk politely and respectfully to me"
"I don't understand why he imposes his requests?"
 "A chain of please begins and theres no space left for me to refuse however unreasonable he gets."
"He doesn't stop crying, yelling and throwing things around until I give in to his wants."
" I really can't say 'no' to him."

She looked at me helplessly and said "My mother-in-law says that I have spoilt him, that her children were never that indisciplined. I should be strict, I am very lenient thats why Arjun, my son has become so stubborn"
"She says when he puts any unreasonable demand I must just stay strict and control him and his behaviours by punishments and disciplinary rules."
"mmmm...." I muttered seeing how troubled she was and how badly she was wanting her boy to drop his stubborn  behaviour.
I told her something that immediately put her into a relaxation mode.."Mrs Nair, Stubborn behaviour and throwing tantrums is quite common, and so is giving into the child's wishes or taking the punishment lane. Whatever you are experiencing is quite common. The good news is that there is a solution to this"
A sigh of relief..... and she asked "Ma'am when should I get Arjun to your clinic?"

I replied "He doesn't need to come, only you need to take a few sessions."

She immediately said "So, you also think that I have made my son stubborn"
Her honest response touched me and I knew how much being accused hurts her and I put the words into statement that cleared her doubt...."The sessions are for you not because you are the cause but because you can be the best medicine"
"Mrs Nair, I would love to congratulate you because you have spared the rod and other punishing techniques"
"We will start with knowing the genesis of tantrums and learn how the behaviour can be slashed without using violent punishing methods."
My next post would be on the genesis of tantrums!!


   

ONLY EQUALITY BREEDS EQUALITY

You and your spouse don't make a secure enough shed for your child! Develop the love between the two of you, only that forms the roof. The stronger your love gets, the more leak proof the roof becomes. Don't create skewed division of responsibility amongst yourself. Being and behaving equal individuals creates a sense of equality in the child that is so so so very important. I really don't know if I am clearly able to put across whats on my mind.
Husband and wife must stay and behave as equals. This needs a lot of clarification and I will come up  with a beautiful eye opener true story tomorrow.   

A PINCH OF JUNK

"I want chips and I want them right now" at 11 pm "now now now"  another repeat "now now now" another and another till you will have to answer!
 Wow I loved mathematics and now I have a problem to solve........God is great!
"This is really going to be fun" I muttered to myself, more of an assurance than anticipation of joy.
Before I decided what to say I actually foresaw the consequences of each of the options.
I was happy that there were no chips at home so the option of giving in to her plight was out of question. Her paratha and sabji (vegetable and bread) meant for dinner were still left. My aim was that she eats her dinner not chips or chocolate or namkeen (snacks) or any other junk!
I said that there were no chips at home but sabji paratha is available.
"no no now now "
"now now now"
"now now now"
Each "now" of hers was hammering the only brain I have.
At this point of time it was useless to describe her anything. She was hungry and annoyingly persistant.
I said " Fine (with forced expiration), lets go to the market and get chips"
All the yelling suddenly stopped!
"We will go in the car in our night suits" I said.
She completely agreed. We got down the stairs and I said "Theres no one here, its so dark and not even a single human is around" She said "ya.. sab so rahe hain na!(everyone is sleeping)"
"yes" I replied.
she went on "It's sleeping time Ma"
"I see"
"What about the shopkeeper" very subtly I brought him into picture
"arey Mamma, wo bhi to so raha hoga(Ooooooops Ma!!! he would also be sleeping)" saying this she stopped taking any further steps.
"Lets go back home Ma, his shop would also be closed"
"...mmmmm.."
" Papa bhi to subah hospital jate hain( Papa also goes to hospital in morning ), raat mei to sone ka time hota hai (night is sleeping time)"
We returned home!
"Are you hungry" I re-enquired. I was happy with my success!
She said "yes"
The next statement broke my happiness!            
"namkeen khayenge Mamma (we will eat ready made snacks, Mamma)"
I took a deep breath and said "Today we will have it in new style Naisha"
"Which?"
"Namkeenoparatha style (namkeen + paratha)..........." she was getting curious!
I served her little plate with two big parathas sabji and a pinch of namkeen. With each morsal of sabji paratha I put one little speck of namkeen making a nose out of it on the face of sabji!
"This is yummier than chips Mamma"
"Really?"
 Then she said what I love to hear.
"Thank you God for no chips, Thank you Ma for namkeenoparatha"
"Oh you're welcome darling"
As she slept away to glory I thanked God that the "now now now .." for chips would never happen at night again. I did nothing. I just let her do. She did, she learnt and she learnt that for ever!
Some responsibility, some creativity, lots of connectivity and a lesson for ever!
The art of peaceful non violent ways of parenting did not come spontaneously to me. Its a learned behaviour. I learnt it and so can you. Drop in your comments below. Specific questions can be asked via email.
email id: olivegreenparentingclinic@gmail.com

WE REALLY DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS!

It's a festive season going on and Durga mata ( A Hindu Goddess) is worshipped for nine days. A big idol of the Goddess is established for worship and devotees accumulate in evening and do garbha (a Gujrati dance form where in groups dance in a ring using dandiya(sticks)) . Nine days are like amazing! Naisha is having real festive time. Mohit is busy so all the festive fun falls to our favour (mom and daughter). Yesterday after returning from the utsav (celebration) I just happened to hear the amazing conversation between Dad and Naisha.
Dad: How much did you enjoy darling?
Naisha: so so so so much
 Giving a very excited expression, she continued, ".....the Rani mata (Queen Mother) was wearing a very beautiful skirt..." , opening her eyes big "Green coloured..."
"she was sitting on the tiger, tiger had two big teeth that were coming out of it's mouth"
"the tiger was not roaring....it's the good tiger, it's Rani mata's tiger!"
"Rani mata is very powerful"
Expressions of deep listening were generously being thrown by Mohit(Dad)....
"hmmmm "
"haaan"
"oh"
"I see"
Naisha continued " Rani mata has so many hands "
Dad "how many?"
"...one two three this side and one two three on the other"
No talking happens without concerned actions!
Mohit says "why?"
"She is Rani mata, that's why"
Mohit said "so what"
"so she has so so so many hands"
Mohit "...but why?"
After so much of drilling she said " Papa, you are not understanding... she is " with lots of emphasis "...Rani mata" "she has so so so many hands"
Mohit modified his question so that she could understand.."what does she do with these hands"
......mmmmmm.......... she got lost and finally said "I don't know papa..you tell"
Mohit said "I don't know, we will ask pandit ji (Hindu priest) tomorrow"
She said "okay"
So rarely does one see an adult using the power of "Why?" without any fear of not knowing the answer with a child. Usually adults have already buried their "why" and are all set to shun their child's "why" too.
The whole scene was worth a lot of appreciation for Mohit.  He just was being inquisitive and encouraging curiosity in the child!
We really don't need to know all the answers! Answers can be found together!

BEING IN FEAR IS AN IMMUNOCOMPROMISED STATE

World has people of all breeds. There are times when one is under attack! Someone whom one trusts is often seen to break our trust. This is life and all your trials to save your child from these are futile. Only one thing we can gift them is a strong very strong immunity. A defence mechanism that can differentiate successfully between the self and non self and fight every kind of infection.
A child who is scared of ghost (for example), will need someone to sleep with him/her at night. Anyone can take advantage of this fear, world has its ruthless side! Someone might ask her to get into drugs, drinking or sex scaring her/him of the ghost (whose existence is doubtful).
Scare her of a simple injection today....ever wondered how she will take the labour pains!
Let her inherit your fear of lizard, I know a friend who sweats to death at the very sight of a lizard!
Grow up! She/he has to face the life as it is! She will have to face your death one day!
There is one fear that eats us inside out, the fear of rejection! It seems as if approval is something we thrive upon!
All these fear are leading her/him to an IMMUNOCOMPROMISED state of being. The state that results in the dreaded disease of AIDS!
We don't need to make them fearless, they are born that ways. We just need to stop ourselves to inculcate fear in them.
I will soon come up with real life story suggesting this. Meanwhile I guess I got my point across.
Type in your comments and catch yourself giving this dreaded fear to your children....and just discontinue.
There are alternative methods for every situation where you use this scaring thing!
You can email me at: olivegreenparentingclinic@gmail.com
I will answer you back!

I LITERALLY NEEDED TO HOLD MY HEART

Its no joke, no made up story friends. It's something that I saw and I literally needed to hold my heart!  The other day I took my daughter to her friend Debu's house. A very well educated family of professors it was. Their's was a joint family and Debu's grand parents were retired surgeons. Debu is someone whose company my daughter loves. She would love to hang around with her just all the time.
As I entered their house everyone was so welcoming and I really felt at home. Debu was showing her toys to Naisha and both of them were enjoying. Debu's grand mother was sitting with a slate and chalk and trying to teach her recognising alphabets before we came. I was so happy to see the grandmother teach ABC to Debu. Usually grandmothers are seen telling stories! She seemed to be a very involved kind of a grandmother.
Debu's grandma, like all elders (parents and grandparents included) was narrating all beautiful stories of what Debu does and how intelligent she is and what all she knows. That stuff is my all time favourite and I love to listen that about any and every child. A lot of learning happens in the process. Someone would tell you of interesting ways of preparing nutritious stuff for kids, someone would share what they did in their childhood. I simply love this talk. I guess it is this way that we as parents or grandparents are able to re-live our own childhood!
Although I see so many parents just rushing through their daily schedule, hardly having time to let their children live their own childhood; let alone the idea of re-living their childhood through their children. Well, that I will address it some other time.
I was so rejoiced to see grandparents do that. She had a beautiful blush of pride all over her face as she asked Debu about things kept in the room and Debu answered them all correctly. Among those thing was "injection". I don't know how, but a simple "Why?" flashed on my face. I was just thinking that it was such a dangerous thing to be kept open in the room. Debu's grandma read the "Why?' through my face and she said "I have kept this to scare Debu"
"Scare Debu??"
She continued "when she doesn't eat or does some mischief we scare her" saying this she showed me how she did that...
aa ah ah ah.....
My heart was falling.
I literally needed to hold my heart!
The outcome of this fear inculcation is so adverse. God knows how a surgeon could behave that way! How adverse it could be I will discuss in my next post.
Put in your comments and doubts on which I could elaborate and clarify.
(names changed)

A TWINKLE THAT SPREAD THROUGH MY SMALL LITTLE WORLD

I am so much so reminded of a beautiful incidence; where in the windows of my laptop got corrupted. This laptop of mine is the first gift I gave to myself that I bought with the first pay of my life. When the windows got corrupted I became so sad. My hubby said that I must look for the driver’s CD that I would have got along with the laptop. I looked for it in my laptop bag but couldn’t find it. I was full of despair. It suddenly struck me that I must look for it in the CD box where all CDs were put. I began my search and found one yellow CD which was slightly smaller in size and had “drivers” written on it. I was like so so happy as if I had found oasis ad midst the Sahara desert.
I kept jumping in the joy while my daughter and hubby twinkled as they watched me. I can’t tell you how relieved I felt. I thanked Krishna and felt sorry for not trusting him. As I conveyed my apologies to Krishna, my hubby interrupted me and said that the driver’s CD was not of my laptop. “Oops!” I said “For the feels God just gave me I am sure I don’t need to worry”. I let go of all the analytical “petite set of possibilities” in the village we live in, I was sure that I needed not to worry. I was so happy for the intense good feels that God deliberately put to make me positive, with that other laptop’s CD. I sensed a direction, supernatural direction!
 Now I was full of faith. In evening we went out for a search with a weak analytic possibility and a strong supernatural possibility of everything to fall in place. We were able to find a good shop in the village of Chitrakoot where my windows were all set with a higher version of windows (window 7). Earlier I had window Vista. We even landed up buying a mobile phone for my dear hubby, which was due since a long time. Supernatural self direction!!     Supernatural self direction and the twinkles that spread through my small little world!   

"Iwould love to hear your comments guys, just type in!!"

GIFTING HER THE ARMOUR OF “BEHAVE YOURSELF !!”

In the dance classes last week a new lady, Priya happened to join our group. I rejoiced noticing her sweet little daughter, Navya of the age group of my daughter, Naisha. I was glad thinking that my daughter will have some company.

What we think is not always true. Navya had a very bad habit of hitting other children and becoming happy seeing them cry. Once she came up to Naisha right in front of my eyes and hit Naisha’s face with a toy. I got so annoyed. I just couldn’t stop myself give that expression of annoyance. I immediately shifted my attention to Naisha who needed to be consoled. Priya also came for rescue and started explaining Navya that what she did was wrong.

Naisha didn’t like Navya. For Navya all this was just a game. She was not deliberately hurting Naisha. I could not let Naisha live thinking that she is not strong enough or that someone else is capable of pushing her and laughing as she began to cry. Priya was just not able to handle Navya and her violent behaviour. Navya was a hefty, tall girl. It was so difficult for Naisha to stop Navya snatch away her toys from her. I was brooding over the set of possibilities. I sat with Naisha and asked her “How do you find Navya”

“She’s not nice, I don’t like her”

“Why?”

 “She beats me, pushes me and snatches my toys from me”

“So, what will you do now?”

She makes a helpless face and that kills me. I controlled my emotions and said “Every problem has a solution baby, Navya is simply just not as intelligent as you are. She doesn’t know what she should not be doing. ”

She looks at me with so much attention and focus, I just hope that this works.

I continued “Should you beat her back”

Thankfully, she said “No”

“But you must let her know that not beating her is a choice that you make and that what she did was simply wrong and that you would not take it.”

“How shall I say that mom?”

Just say “Behave Yourself”

You might have had the hardest blow, but I am sure you will be able to get up use the “Behave Yourself” and tell her mom what she did. Then we practiced this playing "as if" games atleast five times. She really enjoyed the game more so as she realised more power within her replacing the helpless feels.  

Next day when we met for the dance class and the children met, Naisha handled everything better.

After the class she told me that she used “Behave Yourself” and that made Navya go back to her mom. She also said that it made her feel good. That’s what made me feel so much better!!



MY FIRST EVER COMMUNICATION WITH MY DAUGHTER

Souls decide for themselves their own fortune and fates, their own playmates and their own talents and their own parents!!Sometimes, it happens this ways that before you plan their childhood on earth, they plan your parenthood from heaven! The 19th of March 2010, evening I got to know of her presence. Physical impossibilities clouded my perception of her till I made a spiritual shift and learnt the truth for myself. It took me one day to realise her and I am so sorry for the delay. The world of possibilities was all open to me and strength covered me from all sides. I thank Radha for facilitating this shift. Next evening I made my first ever communication with my daughter! I wrapped my hands around my tummy and said “Oops! So you are here, WELCOME baby into my arms. Thank you for choosing us to be your parents. Mamma loves you baby. When you were there above, since then you have been a priority. Just the way my mom dad took care of me, the whole of me; I will take care of you. I will try my best to provide you with the most conducive environment possible. I am going to stay with you but away from your dad till your birth and till you are 6 months old. Dad will come to meet us whenever possible. I am still not done with my studies, I stay away from your dad so things could be tough but we are there for each other. I will do all the planning and you guide me through, all right my awakened soul, my room partner! I will buy a story book for you and we can enjoy the story session once a while. There are some sets of fighting that we need to do, which we will definitely win because we are a set of two souls! I can’t tell you how strong I feel just because of your presence. Now take some rest while I plan these eighteen months in a manner that we face no problem.”

MALLEABLE CHILD HAS HER OWN PROPERTIES

Child is all malleable, all yours till she starts to question. But like all metals she is expected to have her own properties, her own boiling point, her own melting point and her own freezing point. Trying to shape a child according to our whims and wishes doesn't necessarily lead to favourable outcomes. The whole nurturing happens in connecting with the child and communicating with her. The communication I am talking of begins too early, that's the non verbal communication, the higher form of communication than the verbal one! This beautiful form of communication goes deep and brings tremendous connecting power and I will certainly address it soon!

 

A NOTE OF GRATITUDE FOR VIRUSES

A change of seasons is a miraculous see saw of hot and cold climate. An hour of clouds and the next might just come with sunshine. Admidst this fight between cold and hot monkeys; the viral cat gets a fair chance to get hold of ones nose and throat!
Don't ever underestimate the debilitating power of this common disease of cough and cold. Its intensly debilitating. By virtue of being highly infectious its not uncommon on the part of family members to place the baton in everyones elses nose and throat one by one, or may be simultaneously.
First to start was my hubby, and then Naisha. I thought I was spared, but it seems the thought itself was the trigger. I fell into the trap. Oh these debilitating four days!
Its so tough to find some time for rest because Naisha is just too young to understand. It was just another wonderful experience for her... my this debilitating illness.
She loves to place that tablet on my tongue with a pet set of instructions..
"Swallow it in one go mom"
"Don't bite it okay"
"It will taste bitter."
The moment I swallowed the tablet she goes..
"Now are you alright?"
I just looked at her and my hubby answered for me..
"it will take time to act and make mommy alright"
"Oh!" that heavenly expression and she gives me that innocent motherly look and explains.
"Don't worry Ma, you will be alright" she keeps her small tiny hands on my head.
I said, "I look at you and I turn alright my darling doll" and my husband took her to the other room so that I could rest.
After two-three hours she comes to ask me again..
"How are you ma"
"Not very fine" I replied.
She asked me to turn around and said... "look at me ma, look at me" I was so troubled and I asked Mohit to take her away. Mohit came and started explaining that I was not well and needed some rest.
After all the patient hearing she says "Papa, if Mamma will see me she'll be alright, ask her to see me" "Oh my doll mamma is alright.." I said fixing my gaze on her  "..but my nose and throat are not that fine" Mohit took her to other room and I sat there thanking the viruses, because all these lovely verbal flowers my doll showered upon me were all due to these viruses.  

SLOW BEGINNINGS

                          One fine monday morning when I was making my daughter ready I asked her to brush her teeth and she goes slugggishhh. Then I wanted her to wash her face and she goes slugggishhh. Putting on her new dress and she goes slugggishhh. Doing her hair and she goes slugggishhh. Slugggishhh slugggishhh slugggishhh ! So sluggish, why sluggish and how sluggish ?
"Time is running out and you silly girl..." muttering these I entered the kitchen to cook a quickie! Suddenly something came to my mind and in no time I slipped into my soliloque.
It all began with reasoning
We probably got up late ?
We slept also late though!
          But how much time is the adequate time to get ready and drop her to school ?
I already did the calculations (10 mins brushing, 10 min this and 10 min that etc etc) but still........ where was I going wrong?
She is deleberately slow because she doesn't want to go to school.
I needed to work a lot with her.
I needed her to like her school, her teacher and to make friends in school. I needed her to learn hurrying up.
A TURMOIL of thoughts!
                    Finally an insight happened that erased the thoughts begone in one single go.

 I needed to learn that every child has a choice, a pace of his/her own and I must understand that and respect that too.
I needed to work a lot lot more wth myself!
        

 

PONDERING OVER NATURE'S BEAUTY WITH CHILDREN

ONE PRICELESS MOMENT

Its a busy life these days and early morning are usually seated on super fast expresses. Hurry is a personalised element of every moment in it (even on Sundays).
This Sunday morning Mohit (my dear hubby) got up and swiftly moved into his super fast express mode. A quickie of tooth brushing, shaving, freshening, bathing, choosing clothes, wearing them, hair brushing, shoe polishing and finally putting them on! Not to forget the breakfast being gulped down the pharynx skipping all the chewing.
Amidst this quickie, a moment of pause............
Naisha (our daughter) comes up with a vest, looks up innocently "wear this papa"
Papa says "I'll wear this tomorrow" and the poor girl gets herself to remorse!
Papa sees this and removes his shirt and vest, wear the one that Naisha gave and kissed her "Thank you"
The rich girl enters into an instant rejoice mode!!
She smiled she was so happy that her papa wore what she gave.
He made her happier than the happiest and wealthier than the wealthiest. There's no bigger wealth than knowing that someone cares, someone loves and for someone one is the priority number one!
What did he give her.... only one minute of his!!
Her innocent smile made our day all the more worthy. These moments are so precious and priceless!
In a world where every thing is measured and ruthlessly tagged for its price, I really wish to ask one question.
"How many dollars for this moment?"

 

FUNFILLED MONSOON PARENTING

PARENT'S BINOCULARS

Well, the kind of binoculars I am talking of are not available in any market! We certainly can never prepare a binocular all by ourselves. But the vision we want through it can be worked upon. We can prepare it and I am here to give you one vague recipe to give it a form.

1. Alarm bell: Fix it in your brain - Any altered behaviour of your child must trigger it. The child might just be verbally abused or abused by action (teacher showing hand indicating a tight slap). Never forget the child might have been sexually abused and don't ignore the fact if you have a son and you feel secure. Sons are just as susceptible as daughters.

2. Money in unit of minutes (TIME): Get a chunk of your heart into a habit of narrating every single detail of every minute when he/she has been away. If you don't have time immediately after your child returns home. Keep a recorder inside a toy mom. He/she could just speak out his/her day out.

3. The correct frame of Questions: "How was your day?" is a good one. "How good was your day?" is a better one! "Was everything alright today?" is going to drive your child into negativity.  Its a good idea to start with MCQs very small good, small good, big good or a very big good! Include actions, stretch your hands wide apart for very big good.  Leading questions should go like "Enjoyed?"; "Loved your school?" etc etc. Your child is getting into a frame of mind in his/her early school years so be aware!!

4. Check the school bag: This one advice comes from my auntie (Uma chachi ji) and I agree to it. And as she said do the checking but never look or sound like a CID(interrogating officer)!!

5. Stay in touch with the teachers: The teachers must know that you are a very well aware parent well connected with your child(ren). But don't poke your nose too much into them. Never judge them. Always appreciate them. If your child loves his/her ma'am, she is a 80% good teacher. Don't beg teachers to give special attention to your kid. Let him/her grow normally unless he/she is a child with special needs else he/she will become a child with special need(I am sure that's something you never want)!

6. Lead your child into confidence: Demeaning words better avoided and boosting words best used!

7. Scan through complexes: Superiority complexes are just as bad as inferiority complexes. Having complex is one single disease. A human with superiority complex is highly liable to enter into an inferiority complex and vice versa. So better keep them in balance!

8. Make them feel loved: Loving them is one thing and showing love is another. the children must feel loved.

I'm sure parenting will be more peaceful with this knowledge at hand!
   

A HAPPILY EVERAFTER SCHOOL IS SCARCE

Not all episodes finish on a happily ever after note. That was perhaps the beginning, her first day at school. The events that followed will prove how things are. Its a constant struggle, a beautiful game and the greatest job for parents, to keep their child under a scanning microscope. Scanning of their hearts, scanning of their feels, scanning of their perceptions...........the job increases manifold!
Its the time to take few steps backwards and buy ourselves a binocular! Description of the kind of binocular I am talking of is large and I shall discuss it in my next post.

MY DAUGHTER'S FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL

I always thought that it would be wonderful to send Naisha, my daughter to school. I wished that she must go without a single tear drop in her eyes and enjoy school from the very first day of her school. I did all that came to my brains.
I started to create interest in her since she was only two years old. That's five months before she was supposed to start her school! I would take Naisha for walks in the school lane and tell her all glorious stories about my own school days. I frequently made her see the school bus. I made her imagine of the time when she would be allowed to wear the splendid school uniform, especially the school tie and the school belt.
We would often play "school-school" and did a lot of role play. She would become the teacher (ma'am) and I would enact a student (Naisha). This formal "Good morning ma'am" had been on her tongue all the while. I told her how friends made in school are the forever kinds(that was My hubby's experience and mine too)! So all beauties of the school were laid in front of her.
I feared what she would do when she saw other kids cry. I thought of preparing her for the same. I said to her "Naisha is a nice good girl. She loves going to school. She is so so strong to stay away from her mom for few hours at a stretch. There are some who are nice and good like her but not so strong though. They keep missing their mom. So what would she do seeing them cry? " She gave me a puzzled look and I threw her into another game of role play and taught her in the process that she should ask those little friends of hers to stop crying.
Before The day arrived I had done almost everything I had aimed at. The night before I slept early along with Naisha. I had bought her a new school bottle, a new lunchbox and a new school bag for her lunch box. Submitting all my endeavours unto Almighty I slept off.
 I kept my fingers crossed, the big morning arrived with all its glory and I got her ready. She was very excited and so were we (her mom-dad). Mohit (my hubby) decided to take a video of our darling. She stood in front of her toy house and spoke "I'm going to school"
we asked "first day?" she repeated "first day"
"Whats your teachers name?"
"Manjari ma'am"
"Whats your papa's name?"
"Dr Mohit"
"Moms?"
"Dr Garima"(Doctor added only after being prompted)
"Whats your name?"
"Naisha Doctor"
And we burst into laughter!! I dropped her to school and she said "Bye mom" happily.
I returned "HAPPILY".